Repeat The Sounding Joy?

 Photo: 23th December 2018

 
Just a few days more- and Christmas Eve is upon us. We can feel it everywhere we go, can we not? Twinkling lights all about town. Busy people running for a last-minute present. Children with shining eyes when we ask them if they can still manage waiting for Father Christmas. Full Christmas mood at the office. Everyone seems to bring homemade Christmas biscuits and Christmas treats for us to try! There is nothing quite like this time of year.

What is the secret of this season that makes all of us seem a little bit kinder, more relaxed and happy somehow, more excitable? Why can't we preserve Christmas magic and hope once the December dust has settled?

There are many reasons for this. Different reasons for each of us as well. We miss the people who can not be with us, for example. The Christmas spirit of people moving  together and reconsider how strong relationships  between those we  love and those who love us can or should be, can catapult us into situations highly charged with emotions. Coping with missing someone we love is the hardest thing ever. We would give everything we have to see them happy. We would do anything to make their deepest wishes come true because we love and care for them. Yet, sometimes this is not possible and beyond the bounds of our power. Nobody said Christmas or life was easy, and we are certainly more than aware of how challenging it can be right then. Christmas can make your heart weep, can it not?

There is, however, a beautiful fact about Christmas we haven't perhaps quite realised.

Christmas is a teacher.
Not a drama teacher, oh not at all! Christmas is a teacher of gratefulness. And, come December, gratitude is the most important subject of examination. It is also one of our hardest, so please do not expect to sail through the exam. It is absolutely fine when we struggle during the lessons, I believe.
How can we coach ourselves, then? How can we prepare? Who and where are are the helpers to do it well?

Well, the first helper I can think of is expectation. Try to put it into the right place. Some things, as I explained earlier, cannot be changed, no matter how much we wish it would be different. Every one of us defines them for themselves, but  expectations are be treated with caution. In order to protect ourselves for disappointment and frustration, I suggest evaluating your expectations now and again during the year, but especially in December. A check of what is real and true against what you hoped for might be very hurtful. It helps, however, reshuffle the cards and focus on a better approach to the matter in question.

My second supporter of gratefulness is understanding. Not everyone in our family shares the same ideas for Christmas and life than we do. Family dynamics and learned patterns of interaction can be a problem as well. We can prepare for those little tries of testing our commitment and integrity to family traditions and beliefs. Consider and try to understand that it might be care that makes someone asks us an impossible question right at Christmas dinner. When our reaction to that very question is coloured by understanding it can help the family member improve his or her own interpersonal skills. Be nice but send a clear message is what my father has told me and I think it describes it best. If we can come up with a reply honest and nicely and with a gentle request of respecting our way of seeing things, there will be a good chance of helping them learn how to break their habit of how they interact with us and others. Isn't that a great prospect for the next Christmases to come? Please remember, the holiday goal is for everyone to have a good time together. Look, how about changing procedures a little? How about making breakfast for the family and surprise them on Christmas morning? Sneak down into the kitchen well before they wake up. Move as quiet as you can. Set the table and add some festive Christmas decorations like evergreen, candles and ornaments. Write a personal 'Good morning' note for every member and put it on each one's plate. If you have some, attach a piece of Christmas confectionery to your note. Go to the bakery around the corner and get some fresh rolls or bread. Prepare tea or coffee, boil eggs and keep them warm. Do not forget to provide fruits like oranges, mandarins, and apples. Try to arrange everything quite nicely. You have an eye for great compositions, I am sure! Then get dressed. I know you look absolutely gorgeous in your morning gown. You do! But dressing well for Christmas is the first thing to get yourself into the right holiday spirit. We won't find that Christmas spirit as if it was a thing we can just grab and hold tight. We cannot chase it down the streets, catch it and get it like the presents you bought. It is not that we come home and, with a snatch of our fingers, happily notice that the holiday spirit had been waiting for us under the sofa all along. Oh no, not at all.  We need to do something to evoke the Christmas splendour and atmosphere. That breakfast adventure I suggested is perhaps another step towards to it. Be an example and do your very best yourself, the more understanding and support you can provide, the better Christmas will get. But, please do not focus on providing only, try to be a part. Be a part of the Christmas story this year.

The third and last thing to become grateful is dreaming. Do never stop dreaming and making plans. Continue to have your dreams because they let us get up in the morning. They let us smile when we look into the mirror in the morning of the 24th of December and let us say 'Hey, welcome Christmas! So happy you could make it again. Let's have fun together!'

When we embark on each situation with sensible expectations, a lot of understanding and good intentions, and never neglect our dreams, it is us who will master the skill of having a grateful mind and a thankful heart. We love what and who is in your heart and this is our greatest treasure. We will finally find what we dream of, I'm certain of that.
Merry Christmas to all of you.