Pieces of Your Heart

Khalil Gibran 1883- 1931

A few days ago, I came across a post which was so thoughtful, so reflective and telling, I simply cannot pass over in silence. In the post, not the entire content as seen above had been posted. It was only an excerpt but after reading it I was blown away. Many of you may know Khalil Gibran's work of literature, painting, and sculpting. I did not. For me he was a name, but I had not paid much attention to him. Until now. The post changed that, and I could not be more grateful. I ordered the book right away.

Why am so intrigued? First and foremost, the written post reminded me of a person incredibly unique and dear to me. Since I highly adore lovely reminders as such- and they are always enough to enkindle the fire within me- there is something else not less important. The post effected, as it is with mind-blowing inspiration, questions on my own values and moral codex. The extract as depicted above is from Khalil Gibran's book of prose poetry fables 'The Prophet' and was first published in 1923. For my feeling, Almustafa's thoughts on marriage (there is another wonderful section on love in the prose) are greatly modern and markedly up to date for its consideration not only in a marriage, but in any relationship between two people, a relationship that is resting upon love.

I don't know how you feel about this, but every time I read the prose I feel a tingle in my heart and I cling to the words as if they were written for me. I am so impressed by the insight of it, I really considered very carefully if I may take the liberty of talking about it on here. Quicker than we think, and we see this every day in comments on the internet, beautiful thoughts and ideas can be talked to death, can be turned into ridicule. It is imperative to say that this is not my intention because the book is a gem for any human being capable to love.

In my researches I learnt that the part 'On Marriage' is often chosen as a wedding reading. Thinking about this, I was mildly appalled. My very first thought that came to mind at hearing about its popularity on a wedding days was 'Gosh, no! Please don't let that be true!' But it was true, and I do regard it an unfortunate choice of advice for a newly married couple. How can you say that? I hear your outcry of protest. Well, I have my reasons and I would like to explain them.

Khalil's beautiful and most touching thoughts On Marriage are not meant to serve as a well-intended start off for a newly married couple. What we can see here is a way to self-reflection, to awareness, and of, most importantly, marriage counselling. I do believe that the feeling love at the beginning of a relationship is very different from the love we feel later on for the person in our lives. I know that many of you will disagree with me when I say that, at the beginning of a relationship or marriage, we do not know what love is. Although we are madly in love, Love has not yet chosen you. Love takes her time and before she considers you worth of making you accessible to all her wonderful possibilities and secrets she challenges you with some tasks. What has been very exciting at the beginning, very new and uplifting, is now not so new anymore. You discover, despite all the beautiful similarities, also some significant separators. Love wants to teach you some essential things in a relationship like perhaps the non- parallelism of two people. Each one of us grows in different time and speed; some do not grow at all in the relationship. Values can shift, for some more than others. This will affect your whole life and, in consequence, conversations, tenderness, sex, come close to non-existent or die away entirely. This shows, and it is Love's most effective coup after years of being together, that finding a new way to happiness is mandatory because if you give up now you might miss out on the most wonderful adventure of your life. So what can we do?

Thankfully, we have the poets.

Khalil Gibran and his prose 'On Marriage' tell you exactly what to do. If the passages resonate with you it is the first sign that Love has found you. If you follow his advice and, in return, try to manage getting some of the concessions for yourself, Love will always be with you. Since we need some experience to truly love, as I have explained, I highly recomment the book as a gift not for the weding day but maybe to the fifth anniversary and onwards. Our major task in love, a task we can only master over time, is to see the other one for who they are. Not what we want them to be.

​When you really love someone they are like a little bird sitting in your hand. It is a bird unbelievably beautiful and lively but also very sensitive in nature. Everyone in the world can hear its song, but only to your ears the wonderful tunes will be fully revealing its hidden melody and loveliness. In the moment of realising the uniqueness you hold in your hand you might fear to move because you know there is a chance the bird might fly away. But you must move because there is a life to lead. The truth is, and this is actually what Khalil is trying  to teach us I think, it can fly away. Sometimes it needs to. Trust yourself and your strength. Trust your own beauty. But most necessarily, trust the bird and it will stay or, if it needs some time for itself, it will always come back to you. Please believe in that.

This post is written for the person that deserves all the space he needs, all the all the love and kindness he can get in his world. He is so much his own person, so polarising and yet so giving. I'm very grateful to hold a piece of his heart close to my own; a piece, I can assure you, incredibly rare and magnificent. I carry it with me wherever I go.
❤️xx
Ute