Otages Intimes by Jeanne Benameur.

He returns home. 
Three words. Three words he's telling himself over and over again. Three words, his anchor for hope and against insanity.

There is a song. He didn't expect how well he remembered scores of the piano piece he played when he was a boy. It's the Trio by Carl Maria von Weber, composed for piano, flute and cello. Back then his musical instrument was the piano, Jofranka played the flute and Enzo had chosen the cello. He abandoned the piano years ago. He abandoned his mum, his two friends, he abandoned love. Almost nothing was left from his childhood and youth since he worked as a war photographer. It's his job he is entirely consumed by and his Leica is all that counts. Report back. Take photos that tell the truth. Document the fate of people who fight to the death to free their country that had been oppressed for decades. Depict history. Inform people what is going on in the world, a world of unbelievable horror and yet with a vitality at times that withstands any capitulation. 

Coming home. Coming home. Coming home. This is what keeps him alive.

Otages Intimes (1) is a book very intense, full of introspection, self-awareness and empathy. It is a story about searching and longing, and how this changes a person, changes a life even.

The story opens in the third person until the moment has come to learn his name. I think it is a very important instant of time when that happens- his mum, Iréne, begins to share her feelings and her love for her son, Étienne, with us (Chapter 2).
Étienne forgot about love. He forgot about desire. Far away from home, in a world that was so unlike his own, he had lost the ability to feel both. How could he not when he was the world's eye on terror, when human misery was his currency? Until now he hadn't allowed his body to find desire and love again. 

If you expect this book to be an exact record on a war photographer's work and what is going on behind the scenes in an environment as such you will be disappointed. We don't even learn in what country Étienne's captivity took place. This is a book about feelings. Feelings of a man (Étienne), a mother (Iréne), a woman (Jofranka) and a friend (Enzo). It's about a man for whom a steady, regular world with daily routine isn't enough. A man who needs war and human misery because it prevents him from finding his roots. Over and over again until he realises what a life, his own life in consequence too, is worth. It's an immeasurable gift to each of us. 

The book is not available in English. Try reading it in French. I think any translation, however well written, comes not even close to the feelings, the despair, the will to carry on, the belief in love those four people show.

References:
(1) Otages Intimes by Jeanne Benameur. ISBN 978-2-330-05311-6, published by Actes Sud, Arles
(2) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eGtqtm243vI Carl Maria von Weber- Trio for Piano, Flute and Cello

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