Irasshaimasé!

Convenience Store Woman
A book by Sayaka Murata, 2016
Original title: Konbini ningen
My edition was publisched by Portobello Books London, 2018
Translated by Ginny Tapley Takemori, 2018

"Forget yourself. Become one with eternity. Become part of your environment." Yayoi Kusama, 1968

References: https://www.japantimes.co.jp/culture/2011/09/01/arts/kusama-quite-dotty-but-very-avant-garde/#.XKb7X9jgrIU

"A convenience store is a world of sound. From the tinkle of the door chime to the voices of TV celebreties advertising new products over the in-store cable network, to the calls of the store workers, the beeps of the bar code scanner, the rustle of costumers picking up items and placing them in baskets, and the clacking of heels walking around the store. It all blends into the convenience store sound that ceaselessly caresses my eardrums."

These are the opening words of a book unlike any other I have ever read before. Have you ever heard a description like this of a supermarket? The person who interprets the unknown secrets of an ordinary discounter everyone of us goes to every week without much ado is Keiko Furukura. Keiko is a thirty-six years old Japanese woman who has been working in the store for eighteen years. She is the convenience store woman whose story has profoundly moved me. Its brilliance and alienness at the same time made me share it with you. I must share. Here we go!

"As I arrange the display of newly delivered rice balls, my body picks up information from the multitude sounds around the store. ... Alerted by a faint clink of coins I look over at the cash register. It's a sound I'm sensitive to, since customers who come just to buy cigarettes or a newspaper often jingle coins in their hand or pocket. And yes: as I'd thought, a man with a can of coffee in one hand, the other hand in his pocket, is approaching the till. I quickly move through the store, slide behind the counter, and stand at the ready, so as not to keep him waiting. "Irasshaimasé! Good morning, sir."

This was so adorable I thought. With this section I had just reached page two in the book and already sensed something very enigmatic. Something very different from my perceptions of other people. I've never worked in a supermarket, but that's not the point. My point is, no matter where I am, I notice words spoken to one another, not necessarily spoken to me. We can see a lot in strangers in the way they talk. Is their inflexion friendly and open? Or is their 'Good morning' something out of sorts or even amiss when they stand before you in the cue and order their coffee? How is their body language and posture, and what do their faces tell? How are the eyes? We can read  lot in them, can't we? Keiko, however, is not at all interested in those signals of human sensitivities. Her body responses to rather mechanical sounds and movements of customers. "Irasshaimasé! Good morning!" she shouts out automatically from the top of her lungs.

"The time before I was reborn as a convenience store worker is somewhat unclear in my memory."

Before I was reborn? As a convenience store worker? Really? What on earth did Keiko mean by saying that? I discovered that, despite so much love and care in her childhood, Keiko was very irritated by the behaviour of others. Her over-analytical approach to life far exceeds the standards and norms of her world and probably also the world of any other human being. People are shocked by her reactions and actions to solve a problem. People are repelled by the coldness of her heart. It began early, everyone thought Keiko was a strange child not able to feel anything at all. I'd like to retell an incident which happened in the park when Keiko was in nursery school. I believe it shows best how Keiko viewed her little world.

"...when I saw a dead bird in the park. ... It was small ... and the other children were all standing around it crying. ... I snatched it up and ran over to the bench where my mother was chatting with the other mothers.

"What's up, Keiko? Oh! A little bird...where did it come from I wonder?" she said gently, stroking my hair. "The poor thing. Shall we make a grave for it?"
"Let's eat it!" I said.
"What?"
"Daddy likes yakitori (chicken), doesn't he? Let's grill it and have it for dinner!"

She looked at me, startled. Thinking she hadn't heard properly, I repeated what I'd said, this time clearly enunciating my words. The mother sitting next to her gaped at me her eyes, nostrils, and mouth forming perfect O's. She looked so comical I almost burst out laughing. But then I saw her staring at the bird in my hand and I realized that one of these birds wouldn't be enough for Daddy.

"Shall I get some more?" I asked, glancing at two or three other birds strutting around.
"Keiko!" my mother exclaimed reprovingly, finally coming to her senses. "Let's make a grave for Mr. Budgie and bury him. Look, everyone's crying. His friends must be sad he died. The poor little thing!"
"But it's DEAD. Let's eat it!"

My mother was speechless, but I was captivated by the vision of my parents and little sister happily tucking in around the dinner table. My father was always saying how tasty yakitori was, and what was that if not grilled bird? There were lots more there in the park, so all we had to do was catch some and take them home. I couldn't understand why should we bury the bird instead of eating it. ... And that's what we did [build a grave for the bird]. Everyone was crying for the poor dead bird as they went around murdering flowers... They looked so bizarre I thought they must all be out of their minds. ....

"Poor little bird. It's so sad, isn't it Keiko?" my mother kept murmuring, as if trying to convince me. But I didn't think it was sad at all...."

Keiko did not see why she should be wrong. Highly practically-minded, she was puzzled why it was not such a good idea to please the family with bird the other night. There were many other incidents similar to this. And no one understood. No one could understand what feelings moved a little girl's heart, a girl that was just special in her own right. Very early on in the story I realised that Keiko did not lack feelings and compassion as such. As we just saw in the incident, she cared for her family and her environment. Furthermore, after it became obvious to Keiko that her reactions must have been the reason for trouble, she made a decision but never understood what it was about her that needed to be corrected. Since her parents continued to be very affectionate and full of love for her, but also at a loss of what to do, Keiko did not want to see them sad on her account. She never meant to have them keep apologising for things she did. She didn't want to be the constant concern of teachers at school. So she decided she would no longer do anything of her own accord, and she would either just mimic what everyone else was doing, or simply follow the instructions she was given. She cared, did she not? With that new way she had found a solution for herself. Keiko managed to get herself through elementary and secondary school without further collisions or even saying anything uncalled-for. She had no noteworthy friends, and she did barely talk to anyone in private. She never repeated the kind of lapses and tumults she had caused in school, but still her parents worried that Keiko was not prepared, let alone able, to survive in the real world.

Keiko did not change her tactics after graduating from high school and going on to university. But, one ordinary day, something wonderful happens that gives her life a full turn. On her way home she gets lost and comes across a white building in a to Keiko unfamiliar office district.

"It occurred to me all of a sudden that the place was deserted. I was alone in a world of graceful white buildings, an artificial scene of paper models. ... Overwhelmed by a sensation of having stumbled into another dimension, I walked quickly through it looking for a metro station. At last, I saw a sign and, relieved, was running toward it when I came across the ground floor of a pure white building converted into what looked like an aquarium."

The building Keiko is quite impressed with turns out to be the as-yet-unopened Hiiromachi Station Smile Mart. Keiko applies for part-time work and the adventure of her life begins. Keiko receives a training from the supermarket chain, and she is doing exceedingly well. She develops into the ideal mimesis of a Japanese store worker, the uniform in person. The modulation of her voice, her smile and face a perfect match to that in the training poster, her movements an excellent mimicry of those she saw in the model video- all of it exactly fits into Keiko's being. Why? Why does it seem so very congenial? For the first time in her life Keiko has found a niche for herself in which she, quite effortlessly, can accomplish the challenge of her life: the maximum of indistinguishability to her colleagues. The work in the store perfectly fulfills Keiko's need to camouflage her true self as we can see in the following section:

"At that moment, for the first time ever, I felt I'd become a part in the machine of society: I've been reborn, I thought. That day, I actually became a normal cog in society."

Later on she says:

"When I first started here, there was a detailed manual that taught me how to be a store worker, and I still don't have a clue how to be a normal person outside that manual. ... My present self is formed almost completely of the people around me. I am currently made up of thirty percent Mrs. Izumi, thirty percent Sugawara, twenty percent the manager, and the rest absorbed from past colleagues ... My speech is especially infected by everyone around me and is currently a mix of that of Mrs. Izumi and Sugawara. .... And I probably infect others with the way I speak too. Infecting each other like this is how we maintain ourselves as humans I think."

This is absolutely great, I think. Because it is true. We can infect each other with what we say and do, and others will infect us with the way they are. Keiko's motivations appear to be different from those of others, but they are no less essential, or less understandable at that. On the contrary. We need to see the altruistic motives behind it. We need to appreciate why Keiko practices all of this so hard, why she literally coalesces with the store. This is born out of thoughtfulness, attention, and respect towards her family and others. The most important message is, however, that Keiko herself is very happy with it. The way she can, she even lerns reading eyes and faces. With the work in the store Keiko has finally explored a place where her life reduces to a for her manageable and bearable measure.

Over the years no other cruel events take place and all of a sudden Keiko is thirty-six. The book describes sundry episodes of Keiko's life, and they are a pleasure to read. She even makes friends. She accepts invitations because, albeit not very enthusiastically, she sees it as her connection to the world outside the convenience store and a precious opportunity to mingle with "normal" women her age. This is written with much humour, and it is fun and thought-provoking at the same time how Keiko negotiates potential obstacles and pitfalls. She becomes a master in observation and, trained in mimicking others to perfection, fares quite okay. But then, no surprise to me whatsoever, it is again other people that come to the conclusion Keiko should do something about her life. She cannot be happy not being married, can she? She needs sex, doesn't she? She certainly would not want to be a freeter for the rest of her life, or would she? Others again, especially family and friends, seem to know better, and no one understands how different yet lovable Keiko is. The pressure increases, but Keiko for now can parry off the outbreak of all too well-meant interference.

""Do you mind if I ask you a personal question? Have you ever been in love, Keiko?" Satsuki asked teasingly.
"In love? Oh, I see. No I haven't" I answered automatically."

Everyone fell quiet and exchanged uncomfortable glances with each other. Too late I remembered that my sister had told me in such cases I should give a vague answer ..."You can just give a vague answer to a personal question, and they'll come to their conclusions," she had told me. Well, I messed that one up, I thought to myself. ... I'd never experienced sex, and I'd never even had any particular awareness of my own sexuality. I was indifferent to the whole thing and had never really given it any thought. And here was everyone taking it for granted that I must be miserable when I wasn't. ... I wished I was back at the convenience store.... Once we've donned our uniforms, we were all equals regardless of gender, age, or nationality- all simply store workers."

Jumping to conclusions is so easy, is it not? The thing is, conclusions are oftentimes unfounded and far-fetched. Hence, they are not very helpful or even valuable. We should remember then that conclusions we express mirror our views and attitudes to life to almost one hundred percent. If one has a more negative look on life the conclusions will be uttered likewise, pessimistic and unfavourable, like a dark painting. If one is a positive person the conclusion drawn will sound optimistic and sympathetic, even excusing perhaps.

As it happens, a new colleague Keiko's age, Shiraha, starts working at the store one day. Keiko, after eighteen years experience at the same place, is put in charge to help him settle. Oh my! Shiraha is so not after Keiko's sense for the fundamental rules and proper behaviour in a store and towards customers. Indeed, he is everything Keiko despises: never on time, unfriendly and taciturn to customers and staff, scruffy, unable to keep order in the shelfs of the store, cynical, and...and...and. In a nutshell, his appearance unravels Keiko's hard-earned system of life immensely. Try as she might, Keiko is unable to motivate Shiraha to put forth the necessary effort or follow the simplest directives. She confronts him one morning.

""Why did you come to work here, Shiraha?"
"Marriage hunting," he said, as if it were no big deal.
"What?" I exclaimed in surprise.

I'd heard all kinds of reasons ... But this was the first time I met anyone who'd come to work in a convenience store in order to find a marriage partner.

"But it's a dead loss." Shiraha said. "There is no one here who'd make a decent wife. The young ones are too fighty, and the others are too old. .... Some customers are kind of okay, but most of them are too haughty. This place is surrounded by big companies and the type of women who work for them are too domineering for my taste." ...
"Shiraha, get changed into your uniform, will you? If we don't do the morning practice now we won't finish in time." I said, interrupting his rant against the customers. ... A convenience store is a forcibly normalized environment, so the likes of you are fixed right away I thought as I watched him taking his time getting changed. But I didn't say it out loud."

Yes, that's it. Keiko strongly believes in the concept with strict rules in the store. Following the manual had helped her enormously, didn't it? So it will also help Shiraha, surely? But no, Shiraha gets fired the next Monday and Keiko is not really surprised when the manager tells her. Now at last her life can be flowing on the right channels and back to peaceful places, right? Soon enough, with united forces, her friends and family start to plot Keiko's course again. What about marriage now? Why no high-flying steps on the career ladder? Keiko feels more and more uncomfortable as everyone seems to know what is best for her and tries to press her into society's template.

"Oh, I thought absently, I've become a foreign object. ... The normal world has no room for exceptions and always quietly eliminates foreign objects. Anyone who is lacking is disposed of. So that's why I needed to be cured. Unless I'm cured, normal people will expurgate me. Finally, I understood why my family tried so hard to fix me."

The perpetual nagging exhausts Keiko. In two weeks she had been asked fourteen times why she wasn't married yet. Twelve times, she counted, did they have a go on her why she still was a part-time worker. What to do? Oh, what to do? By chance, she bumps into Shiraha who was loitering around outside the store in the dark and, nothing new, they start arguing right away. In the course of that, Shiraha starts crying and Keiko, in order to get him away from the store for the sake of the customers, invites him for a tea. Before she knows it, she proposes marriage to him.

"You eliminate the parts of your life that others find strange-maybe that's what everyone means when they say they want to 'cure' me."

Having found a quick fix, she drags him off back home with her, and he moves in into her bathtub for her apartment is too small and, of course, not posh enough for Shiraha as he tells her. The truth is, having similar issues with his family, the faked arrangement suits Shiraha also just fine. Keiko, excited about the news of having a man, tells her sister.

""Keiko, I'm so happy for you." She [Keiko's sister] was getting carried away with making up a story for herself. She might just as well have been saying I was 'cured'. If it had been that simple all along. I thought, I wish she'd given me clear instructions before, then I wouldn't have had to go such lengths to find out how to be normal."

Knowing Keiko a little by now, can you understand her actions a bit? For her, though, marriage is just a matter of paperwork, an erection is a physiological phenomenon and nothing more. Keiko does not mind that Shiraha lives at her expenses and won't be bothered with getting a job and a life himself. However strange the jubilant raptures of family and friends might seem to Keiko, the feeling of being welcomed on board of the insiders is a relieving one, and things go smoothly for the time being. She even quits work at the store for she has been told so. Thank goodness, this is not the end of the story, do not fear. It would be far too disappointing if it was, wouldn't it? Well, the prospect of Keiko apparently getting married, having children, and giving up her beloved job in the store,- that at least temporarily jeopardises the happyend of the novel. Because her true bride groom is the convenient store. This is a love story, you see.

Only one hundred and sixty pages long, but with not a word too little or too much two angles of one camera describe extremely well the simple moral of the book, and I was literally blown away by the skilful use of a kind of rhetorical lens as the stylistic device. How wonderful! One angle illuminates Keiko's perspective and gives us the chance to see the world through her eyes.The other one allows us a look at the viewpoint of all other people, 'normal' human beings to be very precise here. They judge Keiko through that lens of the camera and have nothing more to do than pulling appalled faces, talking behind her back, and feeling very sorry for the parents and the teachers as they have been cursed with such a difficult child. This is so unjust, so superficial, and wrong. Keiko does not need a therapist. She does not need extensive remedial talk to detect and cure allegedly monstrous features in her personality, or to find that one single thing 'normal' in her. Psychological experiments would, in fact, be quite devilish because the only monster we have to question here is our interpretation of conforming to a norm our society, and we ourselves have ingrained in our heads. I don't think we have the right to put our personal understanding of right or wrong before that of others.

Oh my Gosh, why is this story so disconcerting yet comforting, then? Because we are happy we are not like Keiko? Because we never want to become like her, for all in the world? Because we do count ourselves to not being the type 'meddling smart-arse'? Because we have a happy life? Whatever it is, I think we all need a kind of convenient store for ourselves. We need a save base where we can stay in control in a world that is sometimes still driven by ancient rules. Where is yours?

******

References and quotes:
Convenience Store Woman by Sayaka Murata, 2016  (ISBN 978 1 84627 683 5)
Translation by Ginny Tapley Takemory, 2018
Many many thanks to both of you.