Who is helping whom?

 Smartworks.

The entry,

Welcome!

At the Grand Birmingham.

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I have a question for you.
​Why do people do charity work?
Do they do it because they have been affected by certain situations themselves and want to help others out of own bad or good experiences? Do they do it because they genuinely care for others? They are all the best reasons, are they not?

What about something “less flattering”, too? Do people that work in charity have too much time at their hands? Do they not have a life? Are they bored? Can it be that “Oh, I’m working for charity whenever I have time!” does sound very impressive to others and it’s a good tool for giving ourselves the importance we miss? After all, saying “I spend some of my time working for a charity” doesn't exactly make you sound like a terrible person, does it?
Thinking about the “whys” can be nice. It also can be uncomfortable for some when they reflect on their own personal reasons very honestly. Actually, we like the idea that charity is selfless. Someone gives their time, money, skills or energy without expecting anything in return. I'm just not sure that's entirely true. And after spending time volunteering myself, I'm beginning to think that perhaps it doesn't show itself as a selfless endeavour only.

I consider myself as a kind-hearted person, very caring about the people and things I love. I also see myself as someone who is privileged and surely can give something back to others. In short, before I started charity I thought I was literally the classic example of someone who can provide easily with nothing in return. Someone who thought can spend time usefully during a sabbatical to support others voluntarily in a non-profit organisation. After years in a rather fast-paced professional environment, working on bids, deadlines, presentations, clients and the constant pursuit of the next closure, I wanted a break to get some answers to questions about how and where I see myself in the next years of my life.

I found a charity that appealed to me immediately. The concept seems wonderfully simple: women who are looking for work receive an outfit for their interview and an interview coaching. Clothes and conversation. Yay, that sounded absolutely perfect!

But, it isn’t really about clothes, you know. Women want a job. Women want to work. A woman might arrive to her appointment worrying about whether she is qualified enough, whether she will say the right things, whether she belongs in that interview room at all. They often do not waste a thought on clothes. They want to ‘survive’ an interview, get the professional equipment for the most important 60 minutes of being questioned with the aim to eventually secure the job they applied for. Who thinks about clothes when the interview is everything that counts?

And then you start looking through the wardrobe together.
A jacket. A dress. A blouse. A pair of shoes.
How does this make you feel?
Try this.
Let’s get the other colour.
Stand in front of the mirror and look at yourself and breathe and wait.
And wait a bit longer and look.
​
And suddenly something changes. Not dramatically, it happens subtly. Shoulders back. A swirl in front of the mirror. Another swirl in that skirt. A smile. Sometimes a giggle. A head held high, an upright stand in that higher heel. A “Yes, that’s me, oh my God!”.
I then realised that something very magical was happening. It was not only me who was giving and helping. The fascinating change in a woman was not because I gave them confidence. I thought a lot about this point afterwards. It was not me. You cannot hand confidence over in a coat hanger. Like, here wear this Burberry dress and you will look amazing! It will never work. It won’t work because the confidence was already there, the confidence was hers. Already owned for all her life by the woman in the Burberry dress. I was simply there to let her find it again. But wait, was I really simply helping? When you remember the questions at the beginning of my post, helping others was what I wanted by choosing charity. At least that was the official story I had told myself.

Perspective. Connection. Conversations with people I would never otherwise have met. That is what I got from them. Imagine that trust. They granted me the privilege of being allowed a glimpse, sometimes even a bit more, into a small but so very important and intimate moment in somebody else's life. It makes me feel beyond grateful.

Something else was quite incredible. It was the satisfaction of doing something where success wasn't measured by a contract, a revenue figure, a deadline or whether we had beaten a competitor. Success here meant watch someone leave the room with the biggest smile and looking slightly taller than when she entered it. How beautiful is that? Volunteering is not something to measure with figures. It is also not simply a transaction where one person has something and generously gives it to another person who maybe is not able to. Both sides, amazingly, me and also the woman arrive with a lot to give. A lot! This was an insight so great to learn. Nobody stands above another person. People we meet, no matter in what kind of charity we are in, never come with empty hands.

​I, for my part, walked away with more perspective, more gratitude, and more beauty than I arrived with. I have found my purpose, my plan for the next years through this.
​And I will come back, of course.


(Photos all taken by me, September 2026)